In life we are constantly presented with challenges. Some are easier to cope with than others but one must always fight to overcome the challenge they face the best they can. Back on June 6th when I had to DNF the race I had trained so hard for I was presented with a challenge. Not a small challenge at all with the severe pain I was experiencing in my left hip. Within days of the race I was in at the doctor listening to him talk about what could be wrong with me. It was one of two things, either a stress fracture of the hip or ligament damage to the hip joint. I knew what it was because of my pain areas and the lack of weight I could bear on my leg. I knew it was the fracture. (Thanks to Dr Google)
It then took three weeks to get my Mri because of some insurance issues. During that three weeks my pain was some of the worst pain I had ever experienced. It was worse than having my children natural. I never wanted to stand up because everytime I did the stabbing pain would put tears in my eyes and my leg would collapse. I always had to hold on to something or I would fall over. I couldn't walk more than 10 feet or my leg would seize up. My walking wasn't really walking it was a very bad limp. I was tired all the time. My endurance levels that were so high all of a sudden were gone. My body was exerting all its energy to trying to cope with my injury and my mental stability was crumbling into pieces. I literally just felt like I was in a fog.
After my Mri I was on crutches. Crutches are not fun. Dr said 6 weeks of them. I was saddened but knew I needed to or I would never heal. The summer kept ticking away and I was trying my best to be a good Mom, trying to keep my house halfway clean, trying to work my job which involves caring for seniors and trying not to fall into a depression. My crutches hurt me to use but it also hurt to not use them. I was doing my best to use them as much as I could. As my 6 weeks was closing in I knew I wouldn't be off the crutches yet. It still hurt. I was right. Dr put me on them for another 3 weeks. This three weeks was the hardest. I was 9 weeks into my injury starting these three weeks. We had plans, we had a family vacation, we had Lagoon, we had to get ready for back to school and we had kids sports starting back up. We managed though. My kids are troopers and understood Mom was hurt and we adjusted some of our plans with no complaints. We still had an amazing vacation and managed to get the school clothes and supply shopping done.
As I went to the Dr again I walked out without my crutches. Whoo hoo! The battle wasn't over yet though. 12 weeks since injury I was just starting physical therapy. I still can't run. I can't even walk for exercise. I am getting my leg strength back and my limp is almost gone. I am constantly sore from the physical therapy but it makes me happy because I know soreness in the muscles means stronger muscles.
This takes me to where I am at today. I go back to the Dr again in a week and a half and I am hoping I get the permission to slowly start running again. It will be a slow come back but I know I will be back to where I was in no time. I will not rush it for I do not want to hurt my hip again.
I have learned some very valuable lessons the last few months. I have learned that I enjoy a lot of other things besides running and that just being able to walk is a blessing that I will not take for granted again. I have learned that even though the last few months have been a blur where I felt like everything was falling apart, my kids and husband have stood by me and dealt with me. They have seen me cry and they have seen my pain but they are the only ones that have stood by me this whole time. They have dealt with horrible dinners and a messy house (If I ever get hurt again I have learned I am hiring out help) but they are still here and they don't complain and I thank them wholeheartedly for that.
I will be back! I am on the mend and I am happy!
For Love of Trails
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Life is Full of Lessons Why Not Learn Some While Being Injured
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Squaw Peak 50...A Lesson Leaned.
For months my training has involved some big climbing and a lot of miles to prepare myself for the Squaw Peak 50 which was going to be used as a training run for Tushar and Wasatch. Unfortunately two and half weeks out from Squaw I started having some leg/hip issues and they hurt enough I backed completely off my training. As frustrating as it was to not run, I know rest is important. Three days out from the race I started questioning if I should race. I just wasn't healing very fast and whatever I have going on might be worse than I thought. Most times when something hurts I get my chiropractor to adjust me and my massages done and I feel great. This time was different. I would get worked on and yes it felt better but not great. Oh what was I supposed to do!? I want to race, my heart wanted to, but was it smart!? Every day was a battle trying to make the decision. I went out for a little three mile run one day out and everything hurt but my heart kept telling me to race. Was it heart or was it my stubbornness? I am such a driven person who likes things to go her way and the right way. The day before the race I went in for one last therapeutic massage to see if it would help with the pain. It relived some of it and as the day went on I was actually feeling a bit better. Or was I? Was it my head and heart playing games with me and masking the pain? I didn't know. Went to packet pick up and dinner with a good friend and I still had a battle going on interally if racing this race was a smart idea. I knew it wasn't going to be the pace I wanted. As I talked myself into it I told myself it's ok to have a slow race. I was also very aware it possibly could be my first ever DNF. Going to bed I fell asleep with no problem. I guess this comes with racing a lot.
Alarms went off at 3:30am and I started getting ready for the race. My leg still had movement restrictions but I told myself to just go out and give it a try. I didn't know if the leg would hold for 1 mile or 50 and there was no way to tell unless I tried. The morning was perfect running weather. Arriving at the start we had enough time to drop, drop bags and use the restroom and then we were off. The first two miles were a slight downhill paved trail and the ping in the leg was there but not too bad. Once starting on the dirt trail it was a pretty constant uphill and there was no pain. I was a little excited and I was moving fairly fast. I felt good. Through the climbs and rolling hills of beautiful single track the cushion of the soft dirt was in my favor. Then we hit the dirt road. The scenery was gorgeous and the sun was starting to peek above the mountains. Mile after mile of dirt road and my leg was becoming agitated but it was bearable on shorter running spurts as long as I gave myself a walk break every so often. Then after hitting the aid station around mile 15 or so the road started a decent. Normally I can cruise on downhills but within a half mile I knew my leg was done! It was screaming at me. I kept pushing with walking occasionally to help with the pain. Then the pain started getting so bad it was putting a tear in my eye and I kept gritting my teeth. I couldn't hardly bear weight on my leg. It was then I knew this wasn't going to happen today. I gave my husband a call and said I was done. It wasn't a battle worth fighting and hurting something worse than I already had. The next couple miles to the aid station where I decided I would be done I had every emotion go through my head. I was angry, I was sad, I was disappointed and I hurt! My head and heart were playing games on me and kept telling me to just keep going. I was averaging just under a 15 min mile and I could just walk this thing if that's what my leg would let me do. Coming into that aid station as I was trying to make a huge decision on what to do and when exactly to call it quits my ever cheery friend came in behind me. Seeing her happy face I decided on a whim to head out and do my run/walk to the next aid station and go from there. It was only five miles and what else would I be doing if I quit. Probably sitting there waiting for a ride to the start and sulking over my decision. Good decision or not I trekked to the aid that would be at miles 26.5 another 5 miles away. It was beautiful and I met so many awesome people. The mid to back of packers are amazing! They were all so positive! I have always had respect for the people who are on the course longer than me but I gained a whole new respect when these people would stop in the middle of their run to see if I was ok. I had a very obvious limp that I wasn't able to hide anymore and I couldn't even get my leg to run anymore. All I could do was walk and enjoy the scenery and the company. I came to peace with my decision to definitely be done at the next aid. I knew there were people out there who would use my quitting a race to make themselves feel better but I had to do this for me and my future of racing. I had to block out the negativity I knew I would feel and remember who is most important and that's me. It's my kids I need to take care of, my household I need to maintain and my job I needed to be well for. No race is worth hurting yourself over for the people who care for you and those who rely on you. It's one race and I know I will be back and I am sure I will be back in full force and even with more drive. I am stubborn but I also know how to be smart! Squaw Peak 50 I will be back next year and I will conquer you!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
The Rain Won't Stop Me! Ogden Marathon
As this marathon approaches every year I always wonder why I sign up for it. I don't necessarily like running on the road but yet I still sign up. Then I always remember why this race is close to my heart. The Ogden Marathon was my first race ever, besides high school track. Nine years ago a friend of mine now but back then my gym instructor asked during class if anyone wanted to help fill a spot on her marathon relay team. Of course I volunteered because it sounded challenging! I needed to run 7 miles as my portion and I don't think I had ever ran more than 4 miles and this seemed to be like a good challenge. This first experience is what got me hooked! The race vibe and doing something new and different was fun. Little did I know then that it would become addicting and I would be out there again in the middle of May, freezing cold, at the start line about to start my 6th running of the Full Marathon.
This year was different I hadn't been training on the road for the continuous pounding. I went out not knowing what would happen. The run went good. I felt strong but my stomach kept having issues. Running faster at a maintained speed was doing it in. I would stop when I needed, which ended up being 4 times, but by the time I hit mile 16 I was feeling great. My endurance training kicked in and I pounded out the last 10 quick. It rained the whole time and it was cold but all my training runs in the bad weather in the mountains had me prepared and the rain didn't bother me. Finishing this race was all I wanted to do and I did it. It was a good time with good friends close by. The Ogden marathon is a fun course and well organized. I am sure I will be back!
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Majestic Monument Valley 50 K and More!
Good Morning Sunshine! |
The Three Sister's |
In and out of the Hogan Aid Station for the first time and the second time I don't remember much. I was enjoying the scenery but at the same time I felt like I was running hard. I figured out I was in third when I left the aid station the first time and I put myself in a racing mode and pushed forward. The fourth place gal was on my heels and eventually passed me. My legs were achy from the prior races especially when I hit the 3rd loop which I believe was called the Arches loop. It was a long 9.5 miles with a lot of sand! Grinding through it and just trying to go as fast as I could I was fully enjoying the views as I ran past beautiful sand dunes, horses, monuments and arches.
Yep that's snow! |
Looking out into the valley on the climb up Mitchell Mesa. |
Yep we went up that! |
Looking east from the mesa, |
Looking west from the mesa. |
View from my camp site. |
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Antelope Canyon 50 Mile Race Report
Often times we as humans like to test ourselves and see what we are mentally and physically capable of. This is why we as humans have succeeded and grown in this world. This race was a test for me. I wasn't quite sure if it was just all out stupid or if it would hurt me, but I knew I was ready for the challenge of running back to back races. The Saturday before I ran the Red Hot 55 k and I ran hard! I had no clue how my body would react to running a 50 mile race a week later. This was only my second 50 mile race ever and I remembered how I felt after my first one just under a year ago and it was not good. The week in between the races was a bit rough. I had a stomach ache for a couple days, I had a tooth ache and the morning before the race I burnt my hand to the point where it sizzled at me. I felt off and had pains I am not used to. Even to top it all off as we were eating dinner the night before the race I realized my pack was at home 420 miles away, oops! Thanks to some wonderful friends who pack extra packs I was spared to not to have to run with just my handheld. They even had my identical pack so I knew it would fit like a glove!
The morning was perfect as I arrived to the start line bright and early with the perfect chill in the air. As the race started I was pretty much the last person to leave as I had just found my friend to hand off my coat I was wearing. The first few miles was tough playing the passing game.The sky started to lighten up as the sun was rising and the clouds were beautiful.
About 7 miles in though my legs started to feel tired already and I thought to myself that this was a bad idea, I should not be out here racing again so soon. The sand was beating them up quick and they did not feel recovered from last week. Trekking along I just told myself over and over again that I just needed my legs to go numb and then the aching would go away. Running towards Antelope Canyon the wash was long and sandy but once getting to the canyon it broke up the monotonous run through the sand with a dark and mysterious slot canyon that had just a small amount of light coming in to make it feel eerie. I had to turn my head light on in order to not hit my head.
In and out of the canyons and back down the wash to where we came from I got in the mode of just putting one foot in front of the other back through the sand. Sand was everywhere! I was thinking about those crazy long multiple day desert races people do and how it is just insane!
P.C. Kendall Wimmer |
After arriving back at the Antelope Aid Station I took a few minutes to recoup and off I went. Following some other runners we then somehow found ourselves off course and not going through the canyon we were supposed to go through. We dropped as close to the top as we could and ran along the edge of the canyon till it opened up and we were back on course. Our little group thinned out as the sand was taking a taking a toll on me and a couple of the others. I started to walk a bit on the hills, my legs just didn't have the power in them. The next several miles felt like a blur. In and out of the slick rock aid station, after refilling my pack with my gels I continued on to Horseshoe Bend Aid Station. The sandy road going into it wasn't too bad because it was downhill. I actually enjoyed it because it felt like a roller coaster to me. It had rolling little hills all the way down. As I came into Horseshoe Bend I was welcomed by friends who helped me fill my pack back up with water while I drank some coke and ate gummy bears. I didn't stay long. I had caught back up with some girls there who had passed me earlier on and my competitive side came out a bit and I wanted to get in front of them.
P.C. Pam Stuart |
Fun Slick Rock |
Dropping into Waterhole |
P.C. Kendall Wimmer |
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Hot Red Hot 55K
Moab's Red Hot 55k
As this race approached I was excited like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. Last year this was my first Ultra and I wanted to go back and and see what I could do after a year of running Ultra's. I didn't have huge goals, but I had some. I always set three goals for each race I do. First goal for this race was a little far reached, but hey you never know. The second goal is what I should have hit if I was having a good day going off my times from other races and the third goal was just to beat my last year time.
The morning of the race I was experiencing some stomach issues, not sure if it was food I ate, my kids sickness passed on to me, or just nerves. It was very uncomfortable though. The morning was beautiful and I was going to race no matter what.
The hubbs and I ready to go. |
As I started the second half of the race, which is very technical I was feeling much better. I was climbing strong and moving about as fast as I could to try and reach my goals. The mind and body were cooperating finally and I was fully enjoying the beautiful country I was in.
Finish Line Push |